we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
