Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Let's paint friendship bongs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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