Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
