I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
