Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
