He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
