Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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