WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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