Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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