Don't you send me to vm
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
