Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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