i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
