her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
