Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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