im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
