I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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