This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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