I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
