so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
