so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
