And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
