I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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