There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
