I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
