Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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