My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
