You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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