I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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