her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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