The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
