It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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