Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
