I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
