hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
