I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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