Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
