Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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