but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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