your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
