The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
