So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
