So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
