At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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