why didn't you poke me back
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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