woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
