I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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