There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he thought i was a dude.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Semen is not good for contacts.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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