dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My vagina is very pro this idea
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
