Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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