FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
