so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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