Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
