Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So much rum. So many feels.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
