Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
